| recent thoughts recorded in points a) through e). |
[Oct. 25th, 2008|12:52 pm] |
a) I have learned to wash my clothes by hand and hang them outside to dry. This discovery was made, I admit, out of financial necessity rather than eco-consciousness. The first time I went to the Laundromat in South Africa, it was damn expensive, and upon figuring that if I paid this much to wash my clothes every few weeks I would somewhat deplete my modest travel savings, I got out a bucket and my trusty Dr. Bronner’s, sat back on my haunches on the floor of the shower, and figured out how to scrub my t-shirts and jeans and undies until they’re just as clean as a machine makes them. This is something to simple, so much a part of the regular maintenance of living, and yet never in my life had I done it with my own two hands. As is customary in America -- sweet land of liberty, where the slumlords forbid hanging washing outside the apartments lest any sign of human habitation should appear “unsightly” – I had always relied upon those giant, energy-inefficient hunks of metal to do my washing for me. They swallow up broke college students’ precious quarters like it was their job (oh wait, it is); rely on large amounts of electricity supplied by the companies that are blowing up mountains for coal; waste water and encourage its pollution with the commercial chemical-laden detergents and fabric softeners sold in the Laundromats; and add to the mindset that we must turn to commerce, to industry, to machines, to the energy grid, in order to maintain each minute aspect of our lives. Fuck that shit! I’ve freed my mind; hand washing is where it’s at! It may seem silly, but it’s always a little thrilling, a little empowering, to realize that something you never much thought about can be done completely differently, more self-sufficiently, more sustainably. One small victory against the system.
b) I am very much saddened to learn that Jen was killed early this month. Although we were never very close, Jen is someone I’ve had a level of respect for since I met her about five years ago. Whether or not she was conscious of it, she taught me a lot through example at a formative time in my youth about what it can mean to be a strong woman -- to not back down to the systems of male hierarchy that permeate even “radical” communities. I have many a fond memory of rockin’ out with Jen at punk shows, sometimes in huge crowds of sweaty slammin’ bodies, sometimes when we were the only ones dancing - and having a damn good time with it at that. In short, she was pretty much a bad ass, and it sucks that the world has now lost her presence just because some asshole thought his van was the most important thing on the road and didn’t care to look out for bicycles. What makes it even worse is the fact that every commuter cyclist remains vulnerable to the same senseless death as long as the cold-hearted car culture remains the religion of the masses. This is a very sad, scary state of affairs.
c) On the positive side, some inspiration has come from the above-mentioned situation. Mainly that I’d been having a lot of scattered thoughts about diverse matters all relating in some way or other to activism, working towards a better future, towards another world that is possible (“si, se puede!”) and the global struggle to design and birth that world. Pondering Jen’s death has served to sort of streamline those thoughts, tying them together – a bit of a mental kick in the ass saying, “Come on you lazy fuck! Hop to it now!” Thus I am, at least for the time being, imbued with motivation to structure my life and target my efforts in such a way as to advance a better world through conscious action. It’s easy to get preoccupied with other things, to lose focus -- especially when busy with the ridiculous and demanding rigors of academia. But I need to re-learn how to hold myself accountable, as I once did, for what I consume and the systems I support in my daily living. I need to keep my sights fixed on what matters and not get buried in the abstractions and isolation of all the thought systems we’re supposed to be operating within. I would appreciate if my friends would also hold me accountable for these things.
d) This leads me to another matter, which is that I have been increasingly realizing the extent to which my art, spirituality, and activism (or at least activist ideals) intertwine – indeed, rely upon one another to function at all. I am discovering what just might be my role in this life, and that it involves using these three things together, integrally, in everything I do. I am also discovering that by acknowledging this connection I open a floodgate of energy and motivation that wants nothing more than to save the world through beauty, creativity, and resistance to the destructive forces in place. But really this is nothing new. It's probably in you, too.
e) Michel and I are into conspiracy theories lately, and have been educating ourselves on such epic matters as the staging of 9/11, the mind control drugs in food and water, and the Illuminati & related organizations/systems. I think these kinds of thoughts and ideas are important and, much like my fondness for astrology, find their value to be in the way they use a certain story to point out connections that are important to see regardless of whether the premise of the story (in this case, lizard aliens ruling humanity) is actually “true.” On a sort-of related note, I’m so sick of seeing bullshit about the presidential election in the news every day. The puppets with empty campaign slogans and petty stories – typical insulting ways that the media distracts our attention from the important issues going on in the world. These candidates are all backed by the same forces that have been ruling American politics for decades. As usual, I am disappointed to see the way progressive peoples’ discontent is being harnessed by leading leftist campaigns that strategically fall far too short to make any real difference in anything (coughonecampaign), thus simultaneously gratifying the progressives with the feeling that they’re doing something helpful, while completely distracting and thwarting efforts to actually change the destructive course that profit-mongers have set our world on. Sigh. Election season never fails to bring out the anarchist in me. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 24th, 2008|12:09 am] |
louisville > bowling green
(duh) |
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| travel |
[Apr. 25th, 2008|04:01 pm] |
dear friends,
i am going to guatemala june 2-12.
if anyone wants to come travel with me, speak now! :) |
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| yeah yeah update |
[Mar. 1st, 2008|08:53 pm] |
whatsup livejournal, it's been awhile :)
so here's the update on my life i guess.
still at wku, and it's getting better with every semester.
still dating michel, one year whoa!
working hard on art projects as usual.
went totally vegan again, & damn it feels good.
got an internship for the fall with an art&activism nonprofit organization in south africa... that should be pretty interesting!
so how are you doing? |
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| e. e. cummings |
[Nov. 9th, 2007|01:08 pm] |
Buffalo Bill's
defunct
who used to
ride a watersmooth-silver
stallion
and break onetwothreefourfive pigeonsjustlikethat
Jesus
he was a handsome man
and what i want to know is
how do you like your blueeyed boy
Mister Death |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2007|01:39 pm] |
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i miss my punk rock past. |
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| hurrah! for the world |
[May. 17th, 2007|02:30 pm] |
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mmm, it's summer, & i'm pretty much over all that sickness. saw animal collective in newport with a bunch of friends from school; it was awesome and we made a human jungle. now i'm working at north end and enjoying this town while i'm here. hurrah! my life rocks. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 9th, 2007|10:32 pm] |
six months today.
i hate this in a way that i have never hated anything. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2007|10:07 pm] |
strep throat = terrible!
mono = terrible!
strep throat and mono at the same time = really terrible!
and right at the end of the semester too.
whatever, i'm gettin better! |
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| update! |
[Apr. 14th, 2007|04:33 pm] |
life is good!
it's springtime. it's raining. it's saturday. i'm drinking tea and listening to 80s tunes.
this week i registered for next semester --
painting (3rd level studio), printmaking (monotype), art history, english, social ethics.
should be good.
i like school but sometimes i think going part time and also doing other things would be more rewarding. whatever, i'm going full time. living on campus is crazy. like being in a giant fishbowl.
i get major wanderlust. i want to travel again, but i can't decide where, and then there's the money issue. sigh.
i made a zine a while ago, but am just getting around to printing copies. i'll give em out to whoever i run into. i'm planning on coming to louisville next weekend for daydream fest, should be fun.
plans are to go vegan again in a month, no more campus food, that shit's gross. i'm thinking of printing stationary to try and sell. would people even want to buy stationary? we'll find out.
this boy is sweet. |
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| spring break |
[Mar. 18th, 2007|01:01 am] |
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this has been a damn good week. having fun with my louisville friends, there's nothing like it. this is the truth. i don't know what it is. being around diy kids is both comforting and energizing. i miss it. i'm pumped for summer. i'm too tired to write a good entry right now. i love these people so much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|04:22 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | my bloody valentine | ] |
today i went to the planetarium and saw photographs of distant nebulas that melted me with their beauty. ahh space.
also today i finished re-reading the god of small things, which is my favorite.
also today i saw this older woman gazing at me with a far away look in her clouded eyes. i could tell that the image she was seeing when she looked at me was connecting to and melding with some distant memory, perhaps even of her former self. in that moment i felt what she was feeling and for the brief instant at which she returned to the present before breaking eye contact, we looked at each other with a quiet satisfaction at our shared secret.
also today i dumpstered a bunch of nice drawing paper. sweet!
also today, walking in the sunshine and milkweed pods and drawing and reading and green grapes and telephone talking and art show, and more to come. |
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| fields |
[Feb. 11th, 2007|06:00 pm] |
things are pretty good, my studio classes are keeping me busy but it's been managable so far. in general i like the way things are lately - i like where i live on campus and a lot of the people around here are super sweet and there've been enough awesome things happening on a regular basis.
this weekend was good; i'm really glad that today happened. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2007|02:09 pm] |
the dreams haven't stopped, but things are getting easier here. one day at a time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|05:58 pm] |
this has been one of the longest days i can remember. ever.
being here, it's hitting me pretty hard.
and i have to look at pft every day for the next three and a half months. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|06:41 pm] |
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it's true. fear of tigers is fucking phenomenal. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2007|04:56 pm] |
hmm getting mix tapes in the mail makes me smile.
my sister just taught me how to play offensive and it is my new favorite game.
i leave town in a week... yay!
to go to bowling green... yay? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|10:45 am] |
it's weird when your dreams all run together every night
and then you can't tell which one is reality, the dream time or the awake time
i guess it's a good escape
it's probably my mind's way of working this stuff out
but it keeps me mighty confused these days |
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| know what i mean? |
[Jan. 7th, 2007|12:31 am] |
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sir i mean i do not understand about this or that or the time the elusive time that cannot be reattained it was eternal before it was gone now we have dust and nothing but WINDOWS and rooftops that frighten with heights with bridges to neverland with glass elevators to islands with staircases to basements that arent ready to exist for us quite yet and the lines lines lines lines on lights on forms but what's real ? what is the actual in the subactual in the dream that is everything MAYA not like flowers like new beginnings like new endings like the end of the beginning or really THE BEGINNING OF THE END of immortality and certainty and the air we once breathed the only air i trust is clouds that have drifted beyond grasp and this little wasteland is a smoke puppetshow that i've stumbled into with the help of chronos oh that old fucker with his schedule bitter bitter no just cold and resolute that's the one alright i saw him out my train window in a dream i mean at the station his mouth was leaking and crooked ajar and he had wrath for a hundred passive sets of eyes noses ears he knew what was coming alright those bridges it's those bridges in the distance it's the damn bridges it's the damn air they're strung across and the rocks and rocks below. it's the AIR and it's the ROCKS. |
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